Please pray ;)

Hey again,

The last week here has been kind of difficult for me spiritually and I have decided to share it with you all because I could really use some prayer over these issues. I love being here and I love all the girls on my team but I have been discouraged about where I fit in and how God is going to use me here. When I came here I felt like I had certain gifts that God would be able to use and it seems that in almost every situation those gifts have been of no use to me so I am in very unfamiliar territory. Also, all of the girls that I live with are amazing girls and they are so talented and are really great at getting to know people and make friendships. I have been a little frustrated at times with God because I want him to use me here to my fullest potential and I feel that I have not been up to par.

This morning, though, I realized that I just need to quit complaining (I am a huge whiner and I know it) and I need to be willing to do the tasks that God has set before me whether I think I am good enough to complete them or not. It isn't me that is strong and able to do them anyway it is the Lord and if he wants to use me he will and all I have to do is try. He is definitely faithful to me. I guess I just need some prayer about confidence and about the gifts God has given me.

Also last night as we were praying as a team God reminded me of all the ways that he has been romancing me since I have been here and just trying to show me that he loves me...and I of course have just been complaining to him about using me here. I have said this before but the nick name given to me is Kai mook and God just reminded me again last night that that name was a precious gift from him directly to me. There is no way that my Thai friends could have known how special that name would be and there is no coincidence big enough to explain it away. That name really was a present to me from God to remind me that he loves me. I also began to think about the special people I have begun to make friendships with such as Mate who spent the summer in Wyoming and Keaw (his name means green which is my favorite color). Both of these people seem drawn to me and enjoy talking to me and it is completely the Lord's doing and not mine. The connections with them are also from the Lord - as silly as it sounds to say that the Lord would bring someone with the name green to me because it is my favorite color I believe that it is true. The Lord is faithful and he wants me to know that he loves me and he has plans for me. His romance is amazing. The Lord has really been opening my eyes since I have been here and actually been helping me understand him. Several times I have had small glimpses of a scene in my head as I have been praying and I have asked the Lord for discernment and received it. The Lord is working no matter how much I complain about how he is going to use me. If you could just pray with me that I would stop thinking about myself and start thinking about these people and serving them to the best of my ability however weak that may be I would appreciate it. Please keep Mate, Keaw, Ninja, Aoy, Art, Jan, Pat, Nong, Noof, AK, Nick, and countless others in your prayers that would be amazing. If you are all praying for them along with us I know the Lord will not deny us. Please pray that our ministry here would be enhanced and that we would be able to be more confident in making friendships and in inviting people to hang out with us.

One praise is that our Friday night fun night went really well. We had 13 students over to our apartment on Friday to practice English and mostly just to hang out. One student, AK (pronounced A. K.) came in and immediately sat down with me and asked me what Worship meant. I of course was overwhelmed but was able to tell him what it is and then Corinne sat down with us and she was able to share the gospel with him. I really think that he is searching and while he was unable to come to church on Sunday I am hoping he will come this Sunday. Please pray that he would. I also got to have some good relationship building conversation that night with a guy named BigM and a girl named Pat. BigM didn't tell me what he believes but I do know that Pat is of the Bahai faith. Please pray for our friendships with them.

On Sunday I lead the Bible story which was from Genesis 2 and 3 about the fall of man. I feel like the Lord really used it to build us up as a body but only one Thai person came to that and her name is Pum. She is not a Christian so I hope that even though I didn't see any change in her on Sunday we will be able to share with her throughout the summer. Sunday was discouraging for me but I am praying that more Thai people will come next week!! I really hope that they do. They need the word so badly.

We also went to teach the little kids yesterday which was really fun. We taught them about the parts of the body and were able to sing head shoulders knees and toes with them as well as Father Abraham and the Hokey pokey. It was good fun. They are really cute.

Thank you so much for your prayers and your willingness to pray for me. It is really amazing the amount of people who have said that they will pray. I just want to cry and praise the Lord for it. love you all ;)

Rachel